the.big.2

Covenant Dean,
You are the big 2 today!
Mommy & Daddy love you dearly and you live up to your name of "promised" in so many ways.
You bring joy to us and your sister and can light up a room with your smiles, laughs and your ability to EAT. Trucks, tractors, trains and anything on wheels including wagons, strollers and bikes bring you great delight. You love puppies and most animals. You also love Thomas the Train, Winnie the Pooh and Daniel Tiger and love visits to the farm.
2 years ago you came into our world after a very hard labor. One year ago you were still wanting to "see" Mommy every night. And today, you are beginning the toddler stage of "no's" and tantrums. Yet, we wouldn't trade any of that for who you are.
Covenant-you are a "promise" to us from our Almighty and we pray you are in Perfect Hands.
Much love,
Mom & Dad

["Perfect Hands" is performed by The Mariners]

she.is.6.

Unbelievable how time. flies.
I feel like yesterday we were potting training. Teaching her ABC's. And now-she is growing. Learning. Reading. Writing. Spelling. Loving. And growing into a beautiful little girl.

Dear Haven,
You are 6 today. Happy Birthday sweetie.
You love life right now. School. Friends. Carpool. Your sense of loyalty and deep, deep love is admirable. You absorb your surroundings with uncanny ability for a 6 year old and ask great questions. When challenged, you shy away at first yet have a sense of adventure and intrigue in your spirit. You have a quick mind and even quicker tongue. You LOVE LOVE being a big sister and your brother lights up when you walk into a room. You learned to ride a bike and swim more confidently, traveled to 16 states & 1 country, and made LOTS of new friends along the way!
We love you to the moon and back dear Haven. You are our first born and more than we could have hoped for...and we thank God each day for the gift you are to our family.
Love,
Mom & Dad

a simple phone call

"Hi Dad...how's your day going?"

"Ah...well, er, not terrible...but oh, this line...so I'm stuck in line at Sheldon. It's my 4th load of the day...probably pushing it, thinking I can get 4 loads in today. Butch is 2 trucks ahead. I wanted to get back to town and get my trailer warshed...things were running smooth and now they broke down and oh...hey, I'll call you back-looks like we're moving!"

A phone call. A simple phone call.
This is how a typical conversation would go when I'd call my Dad throughout his day. It seemed monotonous at the time...now, 4 years later, those monotonous words seem like gold.

I was on my way to a friend's house last Friday. No kids so thus maybe why I had time to quietly reflect and think. And I had the sudden urge to pick up my cell and call my Dad. A really strong urge. For the first 6-12 months after his death, I had this urge all the time. It was how I communicated with him...I knew I most likely would find him in his truck, waiting in line, or busy about his day. His generation ALWAYS answer their cell phones. :) But as days turned to months and now years, the urge to call him lessened.

Today marks 4 years since he passed. He was in so much pain those last several months. And as time goes on, and people remember seeing my Dad and reminiscing, I really wonder how much pain he was in much longer than even we realize.

And so while I had tears sting my eyes last Friday, I heard the Lord speak comfort. He reminded me of His words of peace, comfort and the treasure my Dad is enjoying...even more of a treasure than the emotion that 4 loads of beans will get hauled to Sheldon because the plant is moving again :)

The best way to have a piece of heaven in your home...

is to have someone you love in Heaven.

Haven & Grandpa Iowa

Oct. 2010

 

one month

"It shall come to pass in the day that the Lord shall give 

thee rest from thy sorrow, and from thy fear..."

Isaiah 14:3

It's been one month.
Many days it seems like yesterday and yet many days, it seems like it was long ago.
Calendar days have a way of doing that...stretching out emotions, or helping you forget them.

We continue to feel your prayers and many of you have patiently asked..."what have you heard?", "any more updates?", "how are you?"...thank you for this continued care and concern...

A couple weeks ago our agency passed along a letter from Keziah's Aunt, now her caretaker, that she is willing to raise Keziah until adulthood, she understands it is long term, she has Keziah's 2 biological siblings as well, and that she is sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.

So many emotions and thoughts cross our minds as we read, re-read and analyzed that letter. First, we are thankful Keziah is taken care of and she is with her siblings. We are also at peace as this seems to be a long-term placement and Keziah prayerfully will no longer be moved around. Lastly, this also helps to give us come closure on this portion of our journey...

So, now, some of the more difficult questions arise. Where do we go from here? How do we continue to honor our Father's heart for the fatherless? What are the next steps for our family? For these unanswered questions, we would ask for your continued prayers. We have been able to take some much-needed time as a family as of late and reflect on the blessings He has already given us...on the many prayers He has answered over the years and the promises He continues to hold out to us. It has been good. Thank you for continuing to point us to the Father and the comfort and answers He provides. Thank you for loving us and being our family at this time...we remain overwhelmed, humbled, and grateful.

the Body

Prayer Journal
May 7th, 2015
Thursday morning

Father Jesus,
May 7th-the date for our court date in Kampala. A court date that would give us legal guardianship of Keziah and be the beginning of the end of paperwork to bring her "home" to her forever family.
A court date that will not happen. My heart aches as I think of dear Keziah and I pray she is loved, fed, clothed, educated...cared for. I pray for her Aunt-that she may love and do diligence to Keziah's care just as I pray she would have wanted for us to care for her. And that she...and Keziah...would know You.

The Aunt is not the enemy.
The process is not the enemy.
Satan and turning our hearts from our Sovereign God and the mind of Christ is the enemy.
Yet even as I write this prayer, the peace and love of the prayers of so many Believers wash over me and our family. Their prayers, love, cards, emails, texts, Facebook comments have all sustained us. The Body of Christ in action is awe-inspiring. It's humbling. It's a privilege to be part of.
Thank you Jesus for who You are to us, for what You love, and for grace during hard times.
Amen

Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 (emphasis mine)

 

today

Today was the day we were heading to Uganda.
We were to leave shortly after lunch, head to O'hare, then to London, then to Entebbe & on to our guesthouse in Kampala.

The last several days have been hard. Several tears. Lots of hugs. And much time embracing family time-bubbles and chalk during these beautiful spring days, walks after dinner, lots of snuggles and books after tub time and taking deep breaths. Re-arranging an entire room of packed clothes, toys, medicine, diapers, etc. was my therapy for the first day. And then I cleaned. I cleaned my kitchen-I mean, REALLY cleaned my kitchen :). I listened to God through scrubbing my floors and scrubbing my cabinets. God often speaks to me when I clean. And so...I clean. It's monotonous. It's therapeutic. It's also easy to wipe up tears if you're cleaning.

We are humbled by the love we have felt through many of you-your texts, comments, calls and emails are encouraging and felt. Your prayers have sustained us, dear friends. Saturday night's adoption fundraiser was so humbling. To have to share such vulnerable and difficult news only 24 hours after we found out was made a bit easier as we looked out and saw so many dear faces...and you cried with us. And you hugged us. And you prayed for us. To see an entire room of college kids praying for Keziah's care and for orphans around the world is awe-inspiring. It's the Body of Christ in action. Thank you for this.

So today...today, we continue to grieve. We continue to heal. We continue to place Keziah and her aunt and her care in our Almighty's hands.

There is also hope. We had a good conversation on Tuesday afternoon with our adoption agency in Texas...asking for updates regarding Keziah and her well-being. They are waiting to hear back from the probation officer & the lawyer team regarding Keziah and her placement with the aunt. The aunt is a school teacher. This is encouraging as this means she is employed and likely to be able to provide for her niece. That gives us some comfort. We also began the "what now?" questions in our dialogue with our agency. We ask for continued prayers for wisdom in this regard...

About 6 months after I lost my Dad I read this quote...

I can't go back. 

I can't stay here.

I must go forward.

Going back tends to boil up bitterness or frustration in me. And while grieving is necessary and healthy, I know staying in my grief and sadness for an undetermined amount of time isn't wise. And so forward, I/we must go. Forward with our family. Forward with decisions. And most importantly, continually forward into His outstretched arms.

Much love,

Katie

change in the journey

"They found an aunt."

This is the post you never want to write. Friday afternoon we received a phone call from our agency. Earlier that day, during the last visit by the lawyer's team to the village in Uganda where Keziah was located, they were told she had been given to an aunt in another village who wants to raise her and does not want proceed any longer with the adoption...

In the span of 24 hours, our lives of packing up our family and traveling overseas for 2 months to grow our family came to a halt. On the surface this appears to be good news for her. To be raised by a loving family member in your country of origin is always what one would want to see happen. So we pray this is truly what is happening and we pray the "Redeemer" of the fatherless will protect and keep her as His own.

Underneath the surface, this means three years into our journey, eighteen months after bringing this little Ugandan into our hearts, and seven days before we were to board a plane to finish the adoption, we must...barring a miracle...say good-bye. This unexpected change in the journey is hard. Very hard.

So we are asking for prayer...

• Pray for Keziah, that she is safe and that our Father will continue to take care of her and bring her into a forever family.
• Pray for our family as we grieve, process this news, and adjust.
• Pray for wisdom as we consider the next steps in our family journey.

Thank you, dear friends, more than you will ever know....

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear..."

Psalm 46:1-2

court date confirmed

Another step of faith.
Another confirmation.

Last week we heard news that our May 7th court date is confirmed. YES!!
Our agency advises us to put travel plans in place at least 1 week in advance and currently with flight times, availability and pricing, our tickets are on hold for departing April 30th out of O'hare into Entebbe (Kampala, Uganda-the capital) via London. Yes, exactly 12 days. We are booking our flights with Adoption Airfare, an agency that specializes in non-profit, adoption or humanitarian travel and they have been great working with us and getting us good flight times. And they are able to put potential bookings on hold for a really long time.

We are still waiting to hear back from our agency on the last round of family visits and interviews for Keziah by the lawyer team and those should prayerfully happen this Wednesday, April 22nd. After confirmation those visits in Uganda went well and there are no glaring red-flags, we will purchase our tickets.

Continued prayers for peace and trust while the final pieces fall into place are appreciated. We are in the midst of a very busy time for our family. Trying to pack up our 4 person family to live life overseas in a developing African country for 2 months where we will be a 5 person family with two five year olds (Keziah will turn 5 June 7th-while we are over there) can very quickly overwhelm me. However, it is by God's amazing faithfulness we are able to take deep breaths, prioritize first things first (namely applying for Visas & final document checks), work through one sticky-note To Do list at a time (there are several all over the house) and take one day at a time. We are also trying to soak up individual time with each Haven and Covenant before the "birth"' of their sister :)

Several of you have asked what you can do or what we need as we continue to go forward in our journey...
1. Please continue to pray-for Keziah: for her needs, care & upcoming transition into our family.
2. Prayer for our current family: for our health, upcoming travel shots, packing & preparation.
3. Continued prayer for the process of adoption-it includes SO many people, signatures & timelines and only our Almighty God can orchestrate all these fine details for one forever family.
4. And lastly...as our journey has lengthened, so too have financial needs. If giving to our journey is something God has or is placing on your heart, we have been and will be forever grateful for your support of our family. Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744 (Miller family #3137 in memo line) is a great way to give a tax-deductible donation to our adoption fund. If you would rather donate to help offset some of the other miscellaneous family costs we will incur while traveling (i.e. Haven & Covenant's airfare, lodging, food, visas, etc), please contact us directly [arlanandkatie@gmail.com]. We also have joined with Gobena coffee, an extension of Lifesong for Orphans, to help promote great fair-trade coffee while also fundraising for our journey. Click here for more information.

Again, thanks so much for praying us through this journey.
We are loosely yet excitedly holding our girl in your prayer hands and in the arms of our Almighty and can't wait to introduce you to her beautiful face when we get overseas. Our journey, along with a few pictures of Keziah :), will be shared at an upcoming awareness/concert/fundraiser night on Saturday, April 25 @ 6:30pm at the AC Fellowship Hall in Gridley. We are blessed to be part of a night to bring honor to God's faithfulness through adoption along side our fellow college ministry and their talents.

Blessings,
Arlan & Katie, Haven & Covenant

coffee club

ahhh...smell that?
There's nothing quite like the smell of a fresh pot of warm coffee brewing in my kitchen!
If you are a coffee lover like we Millers, then I have a propistion for you: Coffee Club.

Gobena coffee is dedicated to helping orphans around the world and has also begun a coffee club where by your purchase of coffee on a regular basis can help support our adoption in bringing dear Keziah Patience home.

Click here to visit our family link to get started & read the details. It's quite easy. And won't take too much time. Thanks for considering coffee club & next time your in my neighborhood, stop on by...I'd love to share a cup of coffee with you!

Love,
the Millers

PS-we'd LOVE it if you'd share our link with friends & family!

4 Millers to Uganda. 5 Millers back.

It.is.unbelievable.
It.is.God.
May 7th.

Right before the Easter holiday, we were emailing back & forth to our adoption agency in Texas regarding the status of our dear girl in Uganda...where she was at...what the uncle was thinking...and what the strength of our case before a judge looked like....

And then there it was...the following words from our Ugandan lawyer:

I truly have a gut feeling we have a good case for Patience. 

The good news is the judge has said she will give us a date of our choice. Please choose a hearing date and we move forward. 

2nd May to 10th May or June 1st onwards 

 I read it. And then re-read it. And then read it again. 

A court date?????!!!!! In one month?! 

Wahooooooooooo!!!!

We are waiting confirmation for our May 7th court date and have been advised to not buy plane tickets quite yet, as the team in Uganda is in the process of gathering remaining paperwork and conducting final family interviews. Holding this loosely in God's hands is really hard because we are so excited but it is necessary to do so as we realize timelines in international adoption can change quickly....BUT we are super excited! This gives us hope. This gives us smiles. And above all, this shows us our God in mighty form.

So what now? If all paperwork is processed favorably, we will leave about 1 week ahead of our May 7th court date so we are busy preparing ourselves, our kids, and our lives to be in Uganda for about 6-8 weeks total. We are choosing to remain in Uganda for the duration of the court hearing and then the paperwork chase (passport, visa, etc) needed for Keziah to then travel home. And both Haven and Covenant are coming with us for that duration. 4 Millers to Uganda. 5 Millers back.

Prayers ARE needed! And you, my blog readers, have been so faithful in praying us to this point in our journey, I know you'll pray us through this next part! 

Please pray for:

1. The final details of the paperwork & interviews in Uganda to go smoothly and that the team there would be able to get all necessary documents before our travel time of late April/early May.

2. For the details of our paper process here stateside. That we double check our "i's" and triple check our "t's" and that we don't become OCD in the process!

3. For our kids as we begin this intial transition phase & preparation...vaccinations, packing up a few things, but leaving most things behind, and getting ready to welcome/love/meet a new sister.

4. For the final pieces of our finances to fall in place. We are humbled that a fundraiser/awareness night was planned by our college kids & was scheduled prior to us receiving our court date. The benefit event is being held on April 25th @ 6:30pm in Gridley...right before we fly to Uganda...God is such a God of timing. (email me for details if interested)

5. Perspective for Arlan and I. That we keep in mind what adoption is, the hard-hard days ahead, for the next part of this journey, and to remember God's faithfulness. 

 Yea, in the way of thy judgments, O Lord, have we waited for thee; the desire of our soul is to thy name, and to the remembrance of thee.

Isaiah 26:8

 

Covey is 1

Wait...one year already!? Really?! [click here to reminisce]
That's unreal...nostalgia (usually reserved for my dear husband) set in as I put together this little video and realized what a darling God blessed us with 1 year ago.
Amidst the still-not-sleeping through night months, nursing woes, no sleep, early crawler leads to early walker & overall not much sleep, he is such a fun little boy! He loves ANIMALS, wrestling with his big sister, BOOKS, trucks/planes/anything with wheels, throwing things, and not sleeping through the night :).

Covenant Dean...you were named because of God's promise of faithfulness and God has sure blessed us. Thanks you for all the joys you have brought to our family!

Psalm 84:12

Blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.

brief adoption udpate

Thank you all for your continued prayers the last few weeks...they have been treasured.

We have not received much news regarding our adoption process. We do know our Uganda team was NOT able to meet last week with the community/family members to obtain the needed affidavits to strengthen our case as we had hoped. We are also still waiting to hear when/if the next attempt to gain this needed paperwork will be and what they next steps in our journey are...

Amidst the chaos and uncertainty, your prayers have been felt and mean so much.

Much love,
Arlan, Katie & kiddos

"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him..."

Nahum 1:7a

Adoption update-prayers greatly needed

Hi friends...it's been a few months since we updated you all on our adoption journey.
A few of you know the following details but most do not...and if ever there was a time we covet your prayers, the time is now.

In January, our agency called with some very hopeful news...another family (who recieved a referral around the same time as us) got their travel/court date for mid-April & another family for mid May. Praise God as this means two less orphans and movement with Ugandan judges placing children. In the same phone call however, our agency's coordinator, Emily, also mentioned that Keziah's uncle had been reported as acting fairly uncharacteristic since his motorbike accident in December. While we knew of his accident, this was the first we had heard of any "issues" resulting from it. He had been exhibiting fairly uncooperative behavior towards the social work team in Uganda and also had taken the children to his Mom's house, without telling his spouse, some 100km away for about 1 week. You can imagine our increased heart rates as Emily continued relaying what she knew.

One week later Emily called back to report that not only is Keziah's uncle acting uncharacteristic, but he no longer supports the adoption and would not like to cooperate/proceed. Our hearts dropped. Tears flowed. Arlan was at a conference in downtown Chicago so I recieved this information while Covenant napped in our hotel room and Haven lovingly tried to pat my arm reassuringly saying "it's alright Mom...we will just go get Keziah's and it will be alright." The social worker even felt that maybe he should start looking for another child to place in our family, as to him this seemed like a closed case.

Keziah's welfare continued to be in question as her Aunt and Uncle have since separated and her and some cousins were sent to her Grandma's to live. According to the social worker, the Grandma is older and this seems to be only a temporary solution. Emily wanted the legal team's perspective and so we waited for three excruciating days to see what their take on our new circumstances were...here was their reply:

In essence if the guardian says I don't want the child to go, thats it! However if the guardian is of unsound mind then he cannot be trusted to make the right decision for the child. People who are insane cannot make decisions whether for themselves or for anyone else. We however would need to reinforce our case with new evidence by affidavit from other witnesses about what has happened to him

Gauging the time change in Uganda, today is the date they are going to try and collect affidavits to reinforce the case that Keziah's welfare is no longer stable since her uncle's accident. While we are trying to hold her loosely, we really want to fight for her while wanting what's best for her. She is a 4.5 year old girl who longs for love and stability.

So...dear friends and church family, please pray for:

• Prayers for the lawyer and social worker as they attempt to gather affadivits from witnesses regarding Keziah's uncle and how her welfare seems to be no longer stable. 
• Prayers for Keziah as she lives with her Grandma and is no doubt wondering what is happening & what will become of her.
• Prayers for speed and timing for this process as no doubt, obtaining these affadivits could lengthen our process and perhaps push back a court/travel date.
• And lastly for our continued hope...that our hope be placed in our one true, sovereign God. The same God who calls us to faithfulness...not because of what we "get" or what the "results" may be...but because He is a just & faithful God.

Deuteronomy 32:4 ~ He is the Rock, His work is perfect: for all His ways are judgement: a God of truth and without inquity; just and right is He.  

Thank you friends for playing an important role in our journey and in the life of this little girl. 

Much love-Arlan, Katie, Haven & Covenant

raw honesty

This post is much overdue.
It's been on Arlan & I's heart over the last several months actually. Probably since late September. Yes...3 months late. Pathetic...I know.
Here goes...raw honesty. The good. The bad. The ugly.

Late summer & even early fall found us still eagerly anticipating & awaiting our phone call/email that would declare our adoption paperwork sent to the Ugandan courts, looked over by a judge & granted a court date. A court date means we travel. And by we, I mean Arlan, myself, Covenant & Haven. If you'll remember (click here), shortly before Covenant was born our agency was pretty confident we would most likely be traveling to Uganda by early/mid summer to go get Keziah Patience as our paperwork was progressing well.

Summer came & summer went. No forward motion with our paperwork to the judges. We then switched our hopes & prayers to potential fall travel and having her home by Christmas. But as the leaves changed color, the paperwork seemed stuck. The lawyer hadn't been using the most recent homestudy (updated in April after Covenant was born) and thus we had some glitches with the testimonies we were supposed to sign off on in October. We over-nighted documents to our agency in TX only to find out we had to redo them the next day as the documents needed to be single-sided printouts and not double sided. (insert sigh)
Our documents eventually found their way to Uganda and thus were sent to the lawyer one last time before being sent on to the courts. We just received word last week that the courts finally have our documents. It's December. [insert double sigh]

I hesitate to even give you a time frame as to when our agency expects a potential hearing for Keziah. It could be as soon as two months. Most likely it will be another 4-5 months. We are ECSTATIC for our dear Kaeb friends as they are traveling to Uganda in February to go get their son. This shows forward progress with the country & international adoption in Uganda. Click here to follow their adoption journey.

Raw honesty comes in the form of me admitting my fears...so here goes...
I fear our little girl will never come "home".
I fear she is spending yet another holiday/month/week without her forever family.
I fear she is continually searching [as one of her videos confirms] for "a family of a different color who will take me 'home'...and we aren't coming.
I fear we won't have the opportunity to show her the love, touch, growth, health that Christ first showed us.
I fear we can't even begin to work through the ugly/trauma/attachment/neglect that often comes with children from hard places.

There. There is raw honesty.
But glance again at all of the above phrases and see how each sentence begins.
I know...pathetic.

Adoption isn't about the "I"...it's about God's back-up plan. Adoption isn't natural. It's hard. There's a lot of hurt....ugly...frustration...and the waiting. Yet God's word provides for a way to equip His Body to pray, provide & adopt children who don't have parents. And Arlan and I have been called to adoption and many of you reading this have helped equip us. We are asking His Body to continue to pray.

Our lives are SO blessed right now. We are looking forward to a holiday season with friends & family...Haven is giddy with anticipation of presents & cousins. We are excited to have our "promised" Covenant spend his first Christmas munching on wrapping paper, lighting up the room with his smiles, and peeling around the family room with his push car. And yet...there is an ache in our hearts. An ache knowing our daughter is 1/2 way around the world wondering why this "different colored family" doesn't come get her and knowing there will be one more season of family memories she will have missed. 

Many of you have asked in recent weeks and months how our adoption is progressing...I'm usually more optimistic than this post possibly reflects. Yet, I'm also very real in communicating to you how we are continually petitioning you all as The Body to repeatedly pray. We are encouraged by those of you who are praying. And asking. And giving hugs when needed. Below are our prayer requests.

My lack of faith often translates to me trying to compartmentalize God's sovereignty. I'll declare I trust Him in all things, give lip service to His "timing is perfect" and know He has everything under control [I ususally do this with a big smile on my face too!] and YET I try and orchestrate details, wanting my/our agenda to "fit" into the timing of adding Keziah to our family. It is good for us to continually petition the Father for and repeatedly lay our prayer request time and time and time again at His feet. Do I or don't I trust Him fully? 

Ah Lord God! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee:

Jeremiah 32:17

Prayer Requests

• Pray for continued movement in Uganda...for our agency workers, lawyers, and judges overseeing our case. 
•  Pray for Keziah. She is now 4.5 years old (she was born about 8 months after Haven-July 2010) and must be wondering why this transition she has been told about is taking so long. 
• Pray for our family...especially Haven as we anticipate this transition. 
• Pray for our faith to be strong while we wait.
• Pray for continued provisions as needed costs increase due to the amount of time waiting.

Thank you for your prayers. We are blessed by your love & warmth each time you ask/hug/care.
Love-The Millers

5 years old

Dear Haven,
In years to come when you read this (or right now, as you can already read well above what the average 5 year old should), we want you to know how special you are...how loved...and how you have forever changed our lives.
You are the joy in our days. Your bright, inquisitive mind never rests until your body does. (You get that from your Daddy.) You love jokes and you LOVE being around friends & cousins. "Who's coming to play today?" is a common question. You lovingly remind us to read Bible stories at dinner time & your attention to details  is astounding. You are also a head-strong little lady who knows what she likes and what she doesn't. Learning to love & obey has come hard the last several months but overall, you have transitioned into your role as big sister to Covenant like a champ. You look out for him and pray regularly for him and you never forget to pray for Keziah. When Mommy & Daddy lack faith to believe your sister will join us soon, you BELIEVE with all your heart. Your child-like faith is refreshing.
We love you sweetheart and pray for your heart on this, your 5th birthday.
May God continue to grow your heart & life into His.

Much love,
Mommy & Daddy

Methodist in Peoria
11-1-09

our little Punkers
11-14-09

our little beauty
5-4-14

she got a brother!
5-9-14

we said "no" to the ice cream truck

1st day of Preschool

Haven began another year of Ironkids preschool. After much debate [mostly my own], we decided to send her yet again to Normal Community's Child Development classes so she can seek & develop the socialization she craves. She loves Mrs. Thomas, the Big Kid Buddies (high schoolers who take the class) and the friends she makes. It is also a great way for her to humbly realize she's not the "only fish in the sea".

Haven was very excited to learn her Big Kid Buddy from last year, Ms. Ali, is also her buddy again this year!

While many tears were shed by some preschoolers, this one forgot to hug me goodbye and settled right in! :)

go back-stay here-move forward

I'm typing this blog 2 days before the third anniversary of my Dad meeting Jesus. Because today [Sept. 7, 2014] Arlan and I have the privilege of spending this Lord's Day with over 200+ college kids at our AC College Camp in Monticello, IL. It's a neat part of our ministry where we get to love on & interact with college kids from all over the U.S. It's special to hear their hearts. Share their pain. And tell our own testimonies of life. Which usually somehow come back to a journey in life, like the death of a loved one. In fact, just yesterday, we spoke on the topic of "Discerning God's Will". Wow. Not easy, huh? Thankfully, my wise husband took the lead and I was merely his "assistant" :)

Aside from the necessary adoption updates & prayer requests, I've done a poor job of documenting our lives this summer on the blog. But towards the beginning of August, my mind often wanders to this early September post and how I can possibly capture with words the thoughts and emotions that cross my mind in regards to losing my 62 year old Dad to the horrible disease of prostate & bone cancer.

I force myself to think about the journey it has been over the last 3 years. 1095 days. Hmm...that seems like a while. It hurts to still see Mom hurt. It is tempting to want to stay in my self-pity. When Dad first died and I would go grocery shopping, I remember wanting to walk into the store and shout "Guess what? I'm sad. I just lost my Dad." to everyone. I was sure the strangers would all come hug me & tell me it will be okay. I still sometimes want to shout that at the grocery store...why the grocery store-no clue? I just do.

It's the simple everyday things & routine days where I miss Dad most. Sure I think of him on holidays, anniversaries, celebrations and the like...but I miss him most when I can't see him get out the car with Mom, or call him up on his phone, or watch his pick-up pull up in the driveway at home or tell me to stop talking so loud. Oh...to hear him tell me to stop talking so much. I miss that. :)

I lost my Dad when I was 31 years old and statistics/averages will tell me I will most likely live more years without my Dad than with him...that's difficult to type. Let alone think about. 

However at the end of my thoughts & the end of each day, I do realize this:
1. My God is sovereign and He is good. He knows our lives & plans for us better than we should/could/would.
2. God doesn't call us to a life that is healthy, wealthy or easy. He calls us to holiness.
3. Daily provisions are ample & enough. Just like the Israelites got caught up in the complaining of manna, manna, manna...I, too, can also get caught up in my self-pity (think grocery store example :) and can forget that often, manna is enough. 

And the last encouragment I remember is below:

You can't go back.

You can't stay here.

You have to move forward.

I like that saying. I wish it was my quote. It's not. I read it somewhere once.

It's honoring. It's a motivator. It gets the focus off of me and to what plans our sovereign God has in store for us.

So...I move forward. I'm blessed to spend today with many college kids. Many friends. My husband and son (of course, Covey came to his first CC!). And with many prayers for my family today.

Thanks for listening to my heart. And thanks for your prayers.

  

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Jeremiah 29:11

adoption update-just...waiting

The Waiting Place...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go

or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow

or waiting around for a Yes or NO

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig that curls or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss

While not trying to make light of a fairly impatient time right now, I am reminded of this page from one of Haven's favorite books...waiting. That's where we stand right now with our adoption. Many adoptive families can identify. Waiting. It actually relates to a lot of us, whether adopting or not. Most of our lives, in our minds, are in wait mode for that one person-job-car-roommate-situation-child-time period-degree-sense of peace...you fill in the blank. We are all waiting for something or someone we think will give us that ultimate, long-lasting peace. 

Reality is that getting a phone call which says we have a travel date...getting on that plane routed to Uganda...bringing our dear Keziah Patience home...having Covenant sleep all night...having Haven not wake up every.single.night...you get the picture (and a small glimpse into our lives right now :)...will not create the sense of complete and total peace that our Savior desires for us. 

It's His arms. 

His cross. 

His Word. 

His Spirit.

He wants us to turn to Him for that peace. 

For rest. 

For purpose. 

These are the reminders our great I AM is teaching me lately.

So to update everyone on our adoption...we are, in fact, just waiting.  

Waiting for our last piece of paperwork, namely her long form birth certificate to get filed, then into the lawyer's hands, who will then check to make sure we have all necessary paperwork needed to then file to the Ugandan courts. Once filed, we wait for a judge to look over our case and set a court/travel date for him/her to hear our case.

We are so appreciative of people's prayers and your inquiries. By you asking you give us courage that you care & are praying. Thank you. Thank you.

Please don't misunderstand...we are loving life right now & thankful for our small family. Arlan's place at ACCFS. Family. Friends. A cozy home. Haven getting ready to start preschool again soon. College kids about to come back for the school year. We are blessed.

Your continued prayers are greatly needed and appreciated. Below is some of our humble requests...they have stayed very similar to my last post:

• Timing~that God would provide timing/details of travel for our family.
• Guidance~travel preparation for us & also for our caseworker (Emily), Ugandan lawyer & investigator & our judge(s).
• Patience~that we can trust in our Almighty & patiently wait on others overseas.
• Support~that the rest of our travel expenses would be provided when needed.
• Keziah~for her daily care, her extended family, her nutrition & play & for her little heart.

Interestingly enough...have I ever mentioned our daughter's given birth name is Nkukunda Patience?

Probably NOT a coincidence? :)

 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

Garage Sale time...again!

Multi-family Garage Sale: 400 Plumage Ct. [Pheasant Ridge subdivision]
TH July 24: 1-6pm & FR July 25: 8-4
Great baby & household sale including: Graco baby swing; Baby Einstein jumperoos (2); Fisher Price Rock N Play; bouncer seats; diaper genies II, kids jackets & winter coats; umbrella stroller; Talking Elmo chair; kid's table & chair set; Little Tikes wagon; small toddler bike; air purifier; lots of children's toys, books, games & puzzles; baby/kid towels & washcloths; boys clothes: Nb-6t; girls clothes 3mo-5t. . .brands: CP, Carters, Old Navy, Gymboree, GAP, Oshkosh, Ralph Lauren; adult name brand clothes: CK, Loft, Banana, GAP--women's S-L & men's M-L; décor, lampshades, kitchenware, pictures, frames, decorative bird cage; men's skis (size 11); new IKEA shelf.
Items in great condition, clean & from pet/smoke free homes.
The tables are full and priced to sell!
No early sales please.

 1 of 2 Baby Einstein baby jumperoos

 decorative bird cage

 Fisher Price Rock N Play

 Graco baby swing

IKEA expresso shelf-brand new

decorative shelf set-set of 5

the tables are full!

 talking Elmo chair

Happy 65

Can you imagine going into labor and delivering not only one darling, but unknown to you, another darling appears?  That's what happened to my Grandma Doorneweerd 65 years ago today! 

Happy Birthday Mom & Uncle Butch!  Love you both!